


Alone Together

by Adolphus Longestaffe (adolphus_longestaffe)



Series: Old Soldiers [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, no joke it's porn, references to captivity and brainwashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 20:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17884256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adolphus_longestaffe/pseuds/Adolphus%20Longestaffe
Summary: Steve and Bucky manage to stop sassing each other for like a whole half hour, Steve maybe sort of accidentally proposes, and Bucky reconnects with an old acquaintance.





	Alone Together

 

 

 

Steve’s back hit the door with a muffled thud. An arm across his chest and a hip pressed against his pelvis held him pinned there. He reached into his pocket, fumbled for his keys, and dropped them. A metallic hand caught them before they hit the ground, and he heard the clink and grind of the key being thrust into the lock.

He gave a cry of surprise as the door fell open behind him, and he stumbled backward into his apartment. The same metallic hand caught hold of his shirt collar, as a black boot kicked the door shut with a bang.

“Buck—wait,” he gasped. “Wait, we should talk about this.”

“No more talking,” Bucky growled, his green eyes flashing with an unhinged, animal intensity that Steve had never seen before.

A chill raced up his spine as all the blood in his head raced southward. He wouldn’t have been able to think of a response if he’d had time, which he did not. Inhumanly strong arms were already lifting him off his feet, carrying him down the hall. He wondered vaguely, as he was tossed onto his back in his bed, if Bucky might just decide to kill him after all, and if he’d really mind.

Bucky’s warm, solid weight came down on him, straddling his hips, grinding his ass against Steve’s hard cock through their pants as his hot, searching tongue slid into his mouth. Icy-cold, metallic fingers slipped up under his shirt, making him gasp and hiss. Bucky laughed softly and rocked his hips again, producing a low groan from his captive. Steve’s capacity to reason returned somewhat as his shirt was yanked off over his head.

“Seriously,” he said, between his friend’s urgent kisses. “We have to—talk.”

Bucky drew away and sat back on his knees, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Steve sat up. They stared silently at each other for a moment.

“Talk,” Bucky prompted, with a touch of impatience.

“Sex is a big deal, Buck,” Steve frowned. “I don’t think I’m being unreasonable, here.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Bucky said. Then he cocked his head curiously to the side. “You’re not a virgin, are you?”

Steve blinked innocently. “Aren’t you?”

Bucky paused, looking intensely uncomfortable. “I—I, uh…”

“I’m fucking with you, dumbass,” Steve laughed. “Of course I didn’t think you were a virgin. I’m not either.”

“Asshole,” Bucky glowered, flopping back against the headboard.

“I’ve never been with a man before, though,” Steve said gingerly. “Have, um…have you?”

Bucky gave him a look.

“Right. That was a stupid question. I just thought—I mean, you were really popular with girls. You dated a lot of them.”

“It was the 30s. I was always terrified someone was going to figure me out, so I pretty much dated every girl I saw, just to keep the wall up.”

“So you always knew you were…uh…”

“No. I always knew I was different, but I didn’t have a way to define it till I joined the Army. Then it was all propaganda about the ‘evil homosexual’ luring young boys into public restrooms. I worked even harder to hide it, then.”

Steve had a sudden, overwhelming feeling that he was treading on dangerous ground, and attempted to grasp at this lighter topic.

“If there’s anything I don’t miss from those days, it’s all that propaganda nonsense,” he said. “Remember the VD posters in the Army personnel office that said ‘Fool the Axis, use prophylaxis’? And the ones that warned about trusting ‘friendly women’?”

“Yeah, I do. Ironic, since I only had sex with women back then because I had to.”

“Did you…when did you—” Steve broke off, uncertain how to frame such a question, and if it was even something he had the right to ask.

“Whenever I could, which was rare,” Bucky said, keeping his eyes fixed on the bed before him. “And after Hydra took me, I had a partner.”

Steve swallowed hard. “A partner? Like, a wingman or—”

“A sex partner,” he said, in a hollow, toneless voice. “He was…assigned to me.”

Steve’s vision went nearly red. With an effort of superhuman control, he kept his his breathing steady and his voice level.

“What do you mean assigned to you?” he asked slowly.

Bucky heard the deadly calm in his voice and shrank into himself, crossing his arms on his chest.

“I mean he was assigned to me,” he repeated sullenly. “Another Winter Soldier. Whenever I wasn’t on ice or a mission, they locked us in a room together till we fucked. That was it.”

Steve’s jaw muscles began to work beneath his skin. “So, you were…it was—”

“Stop. I see where your mind is going and it wasn’t like that. All they did was shut the door. They couldn’t have stopped us if they tried.”

“That’s something, I guess,” Steve said numbly, unable to wrap his mind around the idea of human beings paired up to mate like dogs. “But why would Hydra want their weapons having sex in the first place? I don’t understand the logic.”

“I trained the others, but they were violent and uncontrollable. Nothing but wild animals. The lead scientist decided that they needed a release valve for their aggression. He wanted to find out if what he called ‘reciprocal release’ would make them more docile and less likely to rip the handlers’ throats out. My psychological and genetic profile suggested that I was homosexual, which I was. One of them was, too, so they isolated us together to test the theory, with me as the control subject.”

“I’m so sorry, Buck,” Steve said, in a strained whisper. “I’m so sorry they did that to you.”

Seeing the tears welling up in his blue eyes, Bucky turned away, shaking his head.

“Please don’t. Not about this. It was the least horrific thing they did to me. It was the only time I was allowed to—allowed to feel anything but pain.”

“I wish I’d known. I wish you would talk to me about what happened to you.”

“Why would I do that to you?” Bucky looked up at him pleadingly. “Why would I hurt you with knowledge of things you could never change?”

“Because I love you, and you shouldn’t have to carry all that alone. Mom always said joy shared is doubled, but sorrow shared is halved.”

“I’m not ready for you to know. I’m not ready to say those things out loud to you yet.”

“I understand,” Steve said, taking his hands and kissing them both, regardless of the cold, titanium surface of the left one. “Take as much time as you need, and when you are ready, I’ll be here. I’m with you to the end of the line.”

“You still want me, knowing I’m damaged goods?” Bucky asked bitterly.

“Do you still want me, knowing I’m a hundred-year-old virgin?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You said you weren’t.”

“Well,” Steve shrugged. “I wanted you to think I was cool.”

“Steve, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do,” Bucky said, squeezing his hand. “I promise I will never think you’re cool.”

Steve narrowed his eyes. “I changed my mind. No sex for you. Get out of my bed.”

“Nice try, Rogers,” Bucky laughed. “If you think I’m sleeping on that lumpy nightmare-toboggan you call a foldout sofa ever again, you’ve got another think coming.”

“Oh, is that how it is?”

“That’s how it is.”

“I guess we better have sex, then. If you’re going to be here taking up half the bed anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked. “I mean, I know you’ve been saving yourself for me all this time, but—”

He broke off, interrupted by the sudden collision of a pillow with his face. The pillow was promptly caught and the blow ferociously returned, at which point it was flung away and the full weight of Steve’s tall, solidly-built body hit him like a load of bricks.

“You know, you’re not putting up much of a fight,” Steve said, as he pinned Bucky’s arms above his head.

“Why would I fight? I’ve got you exactly where I want you.”

“Close quarters combat is no joking matter, Buck,” Steve said solemnly. “If I were an enemy you’d already be dead.”

“Ok, now I know you’re stalling. This is way too much banter, even for you.”

“I’m just letting you prepare yourself. I don’t want you to be overwhelmed and faint dead away when you see me naked.”

“Shut up and get undressed, you asshole!”

“Age before beauty,” Steve grinned.

“Oh my fucking god, fine,” Bucky grumbled, shoving Steve off him and sitting up.

He moved to the edge of the bed to unlace his boots and kick them off, then stood and stripped without a hint of hesitation, leaving his clothes where they fell.

“Holy shit,” Steve breathed, looking him up and down. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I know,” Bucky said flatly. “Now lose the pants, or I’m going to go find Hydra and beg them to take me back.”

Steve turned around to remove his blue jeans, which made Bucky laugh and call him a prude. He openly admired his friend’s perfect ass as he bent down to remove his underwear, then Steve turned around shyly.

“Jesus Christ, Steve!” Bucky sputtered. “Tell me you weren’t carrying that thing around when you were five-foot-nothing and ninety pounds. Because if so, I have questions. Like how did you walk?”

“I didn’t—the serum made everything…different,” Steve said, flushing pink. “I’m really insecure about this, Buck, please don’t make fun of me.”

Bucky shook his head. “No. Sorry. You’re not allowed to be insecure about your huge dick. I thought I was doing pretty well in that department, but…I’m gonna need—wow. Lube. All the lube. And maybe a yoga class.”

“Ok, I’m getting my clothes back on. This is—”

“Get your ass in bed, Rogers,” Bucky said sternly. “You don’t bring a weapon like that to a fight unless you intend to use it.”

Steve sighed and sat down, leaning back against the remaining pillows with his arms crossed, trying his best to look displeased. Bucky crouched beside the bed, and Steve heard a scraping sound on the wood floor, then the creak and snap of his foot locker being opened and shut. Bucky popped back up and tossed a small, black bottle onto the bed.

“How did you know that was in there!” Steve exclaimed.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’ve known you my whole life, I know where you keep your jerk material. I’m just glad it’s proper lube and not hand lotion.”

“I’ll have you know, I’ve grown as a person,” Steve said, tossing his head.

“In more ways than one.”

Bucky knelt on the bed and pulled back his unruly, dark-brown hair, securing it with a black rubber band he’d been wearing around his human wrist. His metal fingers caught a strand and made him curse under his breath. An aching pang split through Steve’s chest, but he pretended he hadn’t noticed. Sympathy about the prosthesis was forbidden territory, and he was well aware of the fact.

He focused his attention on his friend’s lithe, muscular body as he crawled over to him, with that savage light in his green eyes again. Like a jungle cat, fierce and graceful at the same time. A beautiful predator. He found himself oddly reminded of Natasha, which he instantly pushed out of his mind.

Bucky leaned down to kiss him. The sensation of their naked bodies pressed together as their tongues rolled over each other made his head feel hot and giddy. He was already so hard it almost hurt, and he wondered how long he’d even last. Sure, Bucky would give him some leeway for it being his first time, but he’d spent so many years longing to be with him like this, he’d be devastated if his friend was disappointed. As if he’d read his mind, Bucky pulled away.

“You won’t last long,” he said. “I’m gonna help you out before we get to business.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, confused.

Bucky flashed a wicked grin and began to slide downward, kissing his chest and abdomen as he went. Steve stared in wide-eyed disbelief as his childhood idol and love of his life took his aching, rigid cock in his hand and slid it into his mouth.

“Holy—holy shit!” he gasped, gripping the comforter with both hands.

Bucky pushed his head down till it hit the back of his throat. Steve let out an involuntary groan as he swallowed on it, then pulled back to lave his hot tongue over the sensitive head, stroking the shaft slowly, before he swallowed it again. Steve attempted to hold back, but Bucky’s skilled hands and mouth brought him to the blinding edge so fast, he barely had time to think.

“Buck, I’m gonna—I’m so close,” he panted.

Bucky pulled back long enough to say, “Come in my mouth,” then resumed sucking and stroking him with redoubled energy.

The aching knot of tension between Steve’s balls and the shaft of his cock wound tighter and tighter, and suddenly snapped. His abdominal muscles contracted and his hips jerked erratically as he came, spurting hot bursts of fluid down Bucky’s open throat. Bucky swallowed along the shaft, then pulled off with an obscene, wet pop and smiled up at him. Steve dragged him into his arms, clinging to him tightly as he attempted to catch his breath.

“I guess you are into guys,” Bucky laughed. “Good.”

“I’m into you,” Steve mumbled, pressing kisses into his neck.

“You’re about to be.”

Steve gazed dreamily at him as he moved up to straddle his waist, higher than he’d been before. Bucky took his hand in his and he felt something cold and wet drizzle onto his fingers. He looked down to see that he was squeezing lube from the little bottle onto them.

“What are we doing?” he asked.

“I’m going to teach you how to have sex with a man,” Bucky said. “It’s pretty much like being with a woman, except it’s nothing like it at all, so at least I won’t have to train you out of any bad habits.”

He took Steve’s hand and guided it between his legs, behind his balls, to the cleft of his ass.

“Here,” he said, pressing Steve’s fingers to the spot.

Steve circled the rim slowly with the pads of his fingers, slicking the delicate skin with the lube. After a moment, he held up his hand for more. Bucky smiled and squeezed some out for him. He reached down again, prodding and massaging the opening, then cautiously, he began to push his finger inside.

“Don’t—ah! don’t go too fast,” Bucky said. “Just…yeah, like that.”

Steve worked his finger carefully in and out. When he felt instinctively that Bucky was ready for more, he slid a second in alongside the first. He’d never done it before, but the physical responses were fairly easy to follow. When Bucky gave a soft moan, he pushed his fingers deeper, spread them apart more, working him open slowly and patiently, savoring each gasp and shudder when he touched the right places. Bucky began to push back on his fingers, striving to get more pressure and friction. His rigid cock was leaking clear fluid from the ruddy head, and Steve’s was fully, achingly hard again.

“I’m ready,” Bucky said breathlessly. “I want you now.”

Steve withdrew his fingers and Bucky moved down to sit astride his hips. He took Steve’s cock in his human hand and slicked it liberally, then guided the slippery, swollen head to his taut opening. His wet, pouting lips parted and his eyes rolled shut as it pushed through the resistant ring of muscle.

Steve watched his friend’s face raptly as he lowered himself gradually onto his cock, taking him inch by inch, till he was sunk to the hilt in the velvety, squeezing heat inside him. Inside him. His best friend, the man he loved more than his own life. The intense, visceral sensation of being physically connected to him this way, after all these years, nearly brought tears to his eyes.

He pulled Bucky down into a hungry, longing kiss, feeling every inch of his body, rocking his hips up into him in slow, steady thrusts. Bucky trembled and made soft, choked sounds in his throat each time the head of his cock thrummed over his prostate. Steve took hold of his cock and stroked it as he thrust deeper and harder, holding Bucky’s gaze with his blue eyes.

Bucky arched his back suddenly and gave a strangled cry. His insides clamped down on Steve’s thick shaft as his cock throbbed in Steve’s hand, spurting milky-white streaks all over his stomach. Steve hung on, thrusting through the sucking spasms, pumping his own aching ejaculation into Bucky’s hot, slick hole. Bucky covered his mouth with a sloppy kiss, then collapsed onto his chest, and they lay tangled together, sweat-drenched and dazed in the post-climax euphoria.

“I love you—so much,” Steve panted.

Bucky grinned. “You’re just saying that cause I’m really good at fucking.”

“You really are,” Steve puffed, still out of breath. “Not that I’d know better, but that seemed above average.”

“At least a B-plus,” Bucky laughed. “And I love you, too.”

“Good, cause now that you’ve taken my innocence, I expect you to do the honorable thing and marry me.”

“Fuck you.”

“I accept. How does June sound?”

Bucky made a face. “Clichéd?”

“You’re right. And it’s like, five months from now. Let’s just go to the courthouse tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday.”

“Ok, we’ll wait till Monday. But you have to wear a suit.”

“Never.”

“Monday, casual clothes, but no firearms. Final offer.”

“Fine.”

“That’s what I—wait, really?”

 

 

 

Later that week, on a crisp, clear night, when the Stark Tower lounge was mostly deserted, Bucky strode out onto the patio alone. Steve was still down in the basement working, and he’d said he’d catch up with him there in a little while. Bucky leaned on the railing, looking out over the city lights, as he had the night they’d first kissed. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts of that kiss, and every kiss afterward, that he didn’t hear the scrape of footsteps approaching until they were close behind him.

“Privyet, starik,” a smooth, smoky female voice said.

Every muscle in his body went instantly tense and on alert, and Bucky wheeled slowly around to face her. For a long moment, he stood silent, watching her warily from beneath his furrowed brow.

“Privyet, lisichka,” he said at last.

Natasha smiled. “So, you do remember.”

“Yes,” he said hoarsely, as if speaking the word caused him physical pain.

“When?”

“The minute I saw your face.”

She tossed her head to conceal the emotion that flickered briefly across her delicate features. “Is that why you tried so hard to kill me?”

“I went after you because I thought you were the biggest threat. Just like you would have done.”

“Just like you taught me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. You taught me how to survive.”

He shook his head. “I taught you to follow orders. To kill without thought or remorse.”

“To be like you.”

The words hit him like a slap, and he recoiled. “No. I’m not that man anymore.”

“Yes, you are,” she said flatly. “You may have your memory back, but you’re still the Winter Soldier. I can see him in your eyes. He is just as much a part of you as the man who loves Steve and died for his country. I know you, Lyova, and you know me. You might be the only person alive who does.”

“Why didn’t you tell them that you knew me?”

“I didn’t want them to know.”

“Do they know you’re augmented?”

“Yes.”

“Do they know how much?”

“No. They believe I was born in 1984. Ironic, how true that really is. That was the year you trained me in the Red Room.”

“I remember. Some things come back in flashes, some things I just…open my eyes and it’s all there. I remember every bruise on your face, Natechka. Every angry word you spoke to me. Every time you screamed at me and beat me with your fists till your knuckles bled.” He turned away, his green eyes creased with pain. “I remember how much you hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you,” she said quietly. “Not until you left and never came back.”

“You know I couldn’t have, even if I’d wanted to. They wiped my memory after I trained each asset. When I woke up, I didn’t even know you existed.”

“I never forgot you did. I have scars all over my body to remind me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“All I wanted was to be like you. A perfect, emotionless killing machine. I even succeeded for a while. But sooner or later, everyone wakes up. Even you.”

“I hope so.”

“Will you tell me something?”

“Maybe.”

“When you shot through me to kill my asset in Odessa, did you know who I was?”

He reached out one finger and touched the left side of her abdomen, in the exact spot where her black shirt concealed an ugly scar. “Why do you think I didn’t aim higher?”

“And my shoulder,” she said, her voice wavering. “Under the bridge.”

He smiled bitterly. “I guess I wasn’t as perfect a killing machine as you thought.”

“Seems like I had a lot of things wrong about you. I always thought you were Russian, too.”

“So did I.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said, failing to stop a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Don’t. I’m not worth it.”

“We didn’t choose to be what we are. They did this to us. We are not monsters.”

“I was.”

“No. I thought you were, but something happened after the first few weeks. Something changed about you. I could see that somewhere under all that armor, you were just as angry and helpless as I was. That’s when—”

“That was when you stopped fighting with me and started trying,” he said looking searchingly into her face. “I remember the exact day. We were doing—”

“Extreme weather training. Scaling that fucking wall. And I fell for the tenth time and split my forehead open on the ice. I was bleeding and sobbing, and you dragged me up off the ground, and you said, ‘Don’t ever let them see you cry. If they think they can hurt you, they will.’”

“I remember. Christ.”

“So, what happened? Why did you suddenly start giving a shit if I lived or died?”

“It was the first time I was out of cryo for that long at once,” He said, passing a hand over his brow. “I started having these flashes. Not memories, but something…human. It was painful and horrible. I reported it when I returned from your training, and they got a lot more vigilant with the shock treatments. It wasn’t a problem again until they sent me after Steve.”

“Wow,” She laughed. “So, I thought we connected, and you thought it was an error in your programming.”

“No. I knew it wasn’t. That’s why I wanted to be rid of it. I knew I’d let myself care about you, and that you were going to suffer until you died violently, just like I was. Emotions of any kind compromised my efficiency, so I let them burn it out of me. It was less painful that way.”

“I did the same thing,” she sighed. “I still haven’t found all the things I buried.”

“We are…a nonstop party aren’t we,” he said drily. “No wonder we’re so popular.”

“Speak for yourself, old man,” she retorted. “I’m pretty popular.”

“You mean you’re popular because you’re pretty.”

“If that’s the deciding factor, you must have an absolutely insane social calendar.”

“Nat…be honest with me,” he said, looking at her gravely.

“What is it?”

“Do you really think I’m pretty?”

She smiled slyly. “I think you’re very gay and basically married to my best friend, or we’d be having this conversation naked.”

“Um. Thanks, but that’d be really uncomfortable. It’s freezing out here.”

“Hey, Bucky? Tell Steve.”

He frowned. “Tell him what?”

“Everything. He’s a big boy. He can handle it.”

“I…I don’t think I can.”

“You have to,” she said firmly. “You have to trust him to still love you, knowing the worst things about you. If you don’t, there will always be a wall between you. Every single secret you keep from him will push you further apart. You and I know better than anyone what’s it’s like to be alone. He does too. But at least you can be alone together. It’s a lot better than the alternative.”

As if on cue, the patio door opened and Steve stepped out. He waved as he strode over to meet them.

“Hey, guys,” he said, wrapping an arm around Bucky. “What’s going on?”

“I was giving your boyfriend a little relationship advice,” Natasha grinned. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go home and make sure my plants are still dead. Night fellas.”

“Night, Nat!” Steve called after her. “Drive safe!”

He pulled Bucky in for a kiss as the door shut behind her, then they turned to go the same way, walking hand-in-hand.

“You want to stop and grab a drink on the way home?” Bucky said, as they stepped into the elevator. “There’s, uh…there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

 

 

 

 


End file.
